Messages de Ladakh
13/08/2021 00:56
Je fais 50 sans problème. A voir pour 90
13/08/2021 00:27
Qu’est-ce qu’un sandwich soviétique ?
Un ticket de jambon entre deux tickets de pain.
Un ticket de jambon entre deux tickets de pain.
13/08/2021 00:20
Khrouchtchev et Kennedy font une course. Kennedy gagne, c’est normal, il est plus jeune.
Les médias soviétiques diffusent l’information : « Khrouchtchev brillant deuxième, Kennedy avant-dernier. »
Les médias soviétiques diffusent l’information : « Khrouchtchev brillant deuxième, Kennedy avant-dernier. »
13/08/2021 00:17
Nikita Khrouchtchev croit-il en Dieu ?
Bien sûr ! Il a même organisé un grand carême !
Bien sûr ! Il a même organisé un grand carême !
13/08/2021 00:15
– Pourquoi le capitalisme est-il au bord du gouffre ?
– Parce qu’il regarde le communisme qui est au fond.
– Parce qu’il regarde le communisme qui est au fond.
13/08/2021 00:15
Le 13 août 2021 à 00:14:12 :
Le 13 août 2021 à 00:13:01 :
« Quelle est la différence entre une bonne anekdot et une mauvaise ? » - « Cinq ans de camp ! »Stop sortir les trucs de Wikipédia
Je n'ai plus grand chose 
Merci de faire vivre le topic
13/08/2021 00:13
« Tu veux vivre ? Ne pense pas. Si tu ne peux pas t'empêcher de penser, ne parle pas. Si tu ne peux pas t'empêcher de parler, n'écris pas. Si tu ne peux pas t'empêcher d'écrire, ne signe pas. Si tu ne peux pas t'empêcher de signer, ne t'étonne pas. »
13/08/2021 00:13
« Quelle est la différence entre une bonne anekdot et une mauvaise ? » - « Cinq ans de camp ! »
13/08/2021 00:12
-"Pourquoi notre petit père Nicolas II n'entend-il pas nos prières désespérées ?"
-"Parce qu'il est sourd à force de se masturber avec la gloire des Romanov et de la Sainte Russie !"
-"Parce qu'il est sourd à force de se masturber avec la gloire des Romanov et de la Sainte Russie !"
13/08/2021 00:10
Le 13 août 2021 à 00:10:25 :
Quels sont les derniers mots des soviétiques avant leur suicide ?"Ne tirez pas !"
Pas mal
13/08/2021 00:10
Stalin loses his favourite pipe. In a few days, Lavrenti calls Stalin: "Have you found your pipe?" "Yes," replies Stalin. "I found it under the sofa." "This is impossible!" exclaims Beria. "Three people have already confessed to this crime!"
13/08/2021 00:09
A man arrives at a hotel after a long train journey, exhausted. He comes into a communal room and sees three other guys who are drunk and talking loudly. They are cracking anti-government jokes and laughing at Khrushchev. The man is annoyed that he can’t sleep so he hatches a plan. He walks out into a corridor and asks a staff member to bring him a cup of tea. He then comes back into the room and starts talking to the noisy fellows:
“Comrades, you shouldn’t joke like that here. Every room is bugged, you know...”
“Nonsense! Who would listen to us?”
“Well, let me show you”
The man walks up to a socket and says into it:
“Comrade major, can I have a cup of tea please?”
Sure enough, the staff member soon enters with a cup of tea.
“See, told you.”
The three men are pale and quiet for the entire night, so the tired man finally gets some good sleep.
He wakes up the next morning alone. He walks downstairs and asks the receptionist about the fate of the three men.
“At 3 in the morning the KGB came and arrested them. Comrade major also said that he liked your little trick, but warned you to be careful next time.”
“Comrades, you shouldn’t joke like that here. Every room is bugged, you know...”
“Nonsense! Who would listen to us?”
“Well, let me show you”
The man walks up to a socket and says into it:
“Comrade major, can I have a cup of tea please?”
Sure enough, the staff member soon enters with a cup of tea.
“See, told you.”
The three men are pale and quiet for the entire night, so the tired man finally gets some good sleep.
He wakes up the next morning alone. He walks downstairs and asks the receptionist about the fate of the three men.
“At 3 in the morning the KGB came and arrested them. Comrade major also said that he liked your little trick, but warned you to be careful next time.”
13/08/2021 00:08
A Russian comedian was telling jokes about Putin. The material wasn't very good, but the execution was great!
13/08/2021 00:07
A russian visits the US and they ask checkup questions at the airport:
"Nationality?"
"Russian"
"Occupation?"
"Nono, just visiting"
13/08/2021 00:06
"Comrade Stalin, fortuneteller has come to visit you!"
"Execute him! If there was a real fortuneteller, he wouldn't come."
"Execute him! If there was a real fortuneteller, he wouldn't come."
13/08/2021 00:06
During glasnost and perestroika - a man is standing in line to purchase meat for several hours when it is announced that the supplies have run out and there is no more for that day.
While he loudly complains about the government's inability to provide for its citizens, a man in a trench coat wearing dark glasses approaches him and says, "please comrade - calm yourself, need I remind you that not so long ago you would be shot for such an outburst?"
Our man thanks the stranger and walks home; his wife sees him coming up the walk empty-handed and meets him at the door; "Don't tell me, they ran out of meat again?!"
"No", he says, "it's worse - now they're out of bullets."
While he loudly complains about the government's inability to provide for its citizens, a man in a trench coat wearing dark glasses approaches him and says, "please comrade - calm yourself, need I remind you that not so long ago you would be shot for such an outburst?"
Our man thanks the stranger and walks home; his wife sees him coming up the walk empty-handed and meets him at the door; "Don't tell me, they ran out of meat again?!"
"No", he says, "it's worse - now they're out of bullets."
13/08/2021 00:03
An old man sits studying on a bench near the Kremlin. A KGB agent walking by looks at him suspiciously, but passes without comment. But an hour and passing two more times passing later, the agent asks: "Why are you sitting here for so long, what are you doing?" Old man: "I am an old man and don't expect to live much longer. I want to go to heaven, and as you know, people speak Hebrew in heaven. So I am studying Hebrew to come well prepared". "Ha", answers the agent sarcastically: "And what if you go to hell?". Old man: "Well, I am already fluent in Russian".
13/08/2021 00:02
Why do Stasi officers travel in threes?
One can read, one can write and the other keeps an eye on the two dangerous intellectuals.
One can read, one can write and the other keeps an eye on the two dangerous intellectuals.
13/08/2021 00:01
Stalin sits next to Lenin near his deathbed. Lenin says: "Joseph... I'm not sure you're the right man to lead the country after me. I don't know if the people will follow you." Stalin responds: "Don't worry Vladimir Ilyich. Half of the country will follow me, and other half will follow you."
13/08/2021 00:00
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells : “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him, later he brings the man to Stalin. Soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man : “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?” Man responds: “Of course i was thinking about Hitler!”; Stalin lets him go but then he stops the soldier to say: “Who were YOU thinking about?”.
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him, later he brings the man to Stalin. Soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man : “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?” Man responds: “Of course i was thinking about Hitler!”; Stalin lets him go but then he stops the soldier to say: “Who were YOU thinking about?”.