Messages de Ladakh
Le 12 août 2021 à 23:58:21 :
Je suis anglophone mais j'ai pas compris la blague. Je dois être con.
Medvedev est un légume
An American,Englishman and a Russian applied to be CIA agents. They go through every single test and pass with flying colors. For their final test they are given a pistol and led inside a room with their wife tied to a chair and they have to kill her. The american goes into the room and comes out 5 minutes later.
-"I couldn't do it,I'm sorry." He says and gives the gun to his superiors.
The Englishman walks in,comes out 10 minutes later.
-"I couldn't do it." He says,giving the gun to his superiors
The Russian walks in the room and several shots can be heard. Followed by screaming,crashing,breaking. He walks out 10 minutes later,sweating. He says:
"You fuckers gave me a prop gun,I had to finish her with the chair!"
"One Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!"
The Soviet general laughs, as he sends 10 men on the hill to capture it.
There is gunfire for a minute and then everything goes silent for a moment, and they then hear the same voice;
"One Finnish soldier is better than a hundred of yours!"
Annoyed, the Soviet general sends hundred men to capture the hill. There is gunfire and bombs going for ten minutes, and everything goes silent again. Suddenly, the same voice yells out;
"One Finnish soldier is better than thousand of Soviet soldiers!"
Enraged, the general sends a thousand men, accompanied with tanks, artillery, mortar teams, and tells them to not return until the hill is theirs.
For half an hour hell breaks loose, bombs and explosions, gunfire, screams and death all around, and then it goes silent again.
One Soviet soldier crawls back, severely wounded and battered.
Before the general could say anything, the soldier says;
"Do not send more troops, comrade general, it's a trap! There is two of them."
Russian Prime Minister Medvedev comes to President Putin and nervously tells him to abolish these time zones.
- Why, Putin asks him?
- Ah, I can't find myself with these times:
- I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep,
- I last woke you up at 4 in the morning, but I thought it was only evening,
- I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday,
- I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow.
- Well, these are just minor awkwardness, Putin answered him
- Any minor issues? Do you remember when that Polish plane crashed with the president? I call them to express my condolences, but the plane hasn't taken off yet !!
Le 12 août 2021 à 23:49:40 :
Ahiiii c'est vilain
Pas mal n'est-ce pas 
Désolé les anglophobes, la blague ne fonctionne pas en français
Putin and Medvedev go to a high class restaurant.
Putin says to the waiter "For the meat I want a rib-eye steak, medium rare. The potatos are to be baked with sour cream".
The waiter asks "what about the vegetable?"
Putin looks at Medvedev and back to the waiter and says, "He'll have the same"
