Poutine et Medvedev vont dans un restaurant haut de gamme

Un soviétique se met à critiquer publiquement Staline. Un soldat vient le voir et lui dit :

- Tu vas parler sur un autre ton !

- Quel ton ?

- Le peloton d'exécution.

On dit que beaucoup ont été étonnés des suicides dans l'entourage de Staline. Imagine comment EUX étaient étonnés !

Khrouchtchev et Kennedy font une course. Kennedy gagne, c’est normal, il est plus jeune.
Les médias soviétiques diffusent l’information : « Khrouchtchev brillant deuxième, Kennedy avant-dernier. »

Quel était le plus grand magicien de l'URSS ?

Staline, car il pouvait faire disparaître des amis sans même les toucher

Le 12 août 2021 à 23:58:18 :
An American,Englishman and a Russian applied to be CIA agents. They go through every single test and pass with flying colors. For their final test they are given a pistol and led inside a room with their wife tied to a chair and they have to kill her. The american goes into the room and comes out 5 minutes later.

-"I couldn't do it,I'm sorry." He says and gives the gun to his superiors.

The Englishman walks in,comes out 10 minutes later.
-"I couldn't do it." He says,giving the gun to his superiors

The Russian walks in the room and several shots can be heard. Followed by screaming,crashing,breaking. He walks out 10 minutes later,sweating. He says:

"You fuckers gave me a prop gun,I had to finish her with the chair!"

Excellente celle-là.

Le 12 août 2021 à 23:49:40 :
Ahiiii c'est vilain

Qu’est-ce qu’un sandwich soviétique ?
Un ticket de jambon entre deux tickets de pain.

Savez vous pourquoi le soviétique est triste ?

Car il n'a pas riz

Le 12 août 2021 à 23:58:18 :
An American,Englishman and a Russian applied to be CIA agents. They go through every single test and pass with flying colors. For their final test they are given a pistol and led inside a room with their wife tied to a chair and they have to kill her. The american goes into the room and comes out 5 minutes later.

-"I couldn't do it,I'm sorry." He says and gives the gun to his superiors.

The Englishman walks in,comes out 10 minutes later.
-"I couldn't do it." He says,giving the gun to his superiors

The Russian walks in the room and several shots can be heard. Followed by screaming,crashing,breaking. He walks out 10 minutes later,sweating. He says:

"You fuckers gave me a prop gun,I had to finish her with the chair!"

Ahiii elle est géniale celle-là

J'ai hurlé a celles en anglais